I am involved
with Women At Risk in many different capacities, for so many reasons. I first
became aware of their support services in 1994 while my fiancée and
I were struggling with the devastating news of his diagnosis of AIDS a week
prior to my college graduation. I was 24 years old, scared beyond words, facing
an uncertain future with only one certainty; my life as I once knew it, would
be forever changed. It was not until after his untimely death the following
year that I attempted to call Women At Risk (WAR). My entire world had just
crumbled before my eyes as I watched the man I loved take his final breath,
leaving behind the legacy of the disease in me. I felt like I was the only
women infected with HIV but soon I found that not to be true. Looking back,
that time in my life seems so long ago, mainly because of the support provided
to me by WAR.
I came to WAR because I wanted to find out some basic but vital information;
how do you live with this disease in your life? How do you go on feeling hopeful
about your future that doesn't seem to have much to hope for? Will I ever
feel "normal" again? I still wrestle with those nagging questions
in my head but my involvement with other women who are infected and affected,
has given me insight and helped me better understand who I am and what I am
capable of. The women of Women At Risk have taken me under their wings and
taught me how to maneuver through all the uncertainties that HIV creates.
The atmosphere of our tiny little office is one of "home".
The women I have met through my support group are the strongest, most courageous,
and most supportive group of women that I have ever known. They have empowered
me and have shown me all the possibilities that I thought I had lost when
my world came crashing down. They have helped me through medication side effects
and illness. They have helped me make informed decisions about treatment strategies.
They have helped me feel comfortable speaking about my fears by opening up
to those who know exactly where I am coming from. Most of all, they have helped
me to find laughter through tears. It is truly a wonderful feeling to have
a place to go where you feel safe to speak from the heart without fear and
without having to explain all the intricacies of being HIV+.
WAR has given me every opportunity to grow and offered the space I needed
to do so. I am currently working as the Education Coordinator, managing the
Speakers Bureau and helping to educate people about what it is like living
with HIV. I want to teach each audience how we all are responsible for taking
an active role in preventing the spread of this disease. My message is simple:
if you are having unprotected sex, of any kind, you are at risk. You can't
tell by looking at someone whether or not they are HIV+. My hope is to try
to connect with anyone hearing my story, seeing my face, and maybe they will
realize that I am no different than them and that it can happen to anyone.
I am so grateful to the women of Women At Risk for inspiring me to find the
courage needed to fight this disease.